As parents, life can feel very busy! But that doesn’t mean that we can’t do small things to help reconnect us to our partner in all of this family chaos…
Appreciate the Small Things
Marriage can’t always be about grand gestures and romantic getaways. It is more often about those quiet moments that go unnoticed. These small moments are the building blocks for something incredible - especially once children come into the picture.
Take the time to notice how your house functions. What kind of rhythm have you and your partner found that works for the whole family? How often does something happen without even having to discuss it - you just divide and conquer?
Meals get made, kids get bathed, laundry gets switched, groceries get put away, books gets read, and items gradually get checked off the to do lists.
As we find our rhythm as a family, we tend to pass off responsibilities in a more fluid way. We start to understand the needs of our children as well as our own needs, and we gradually learn how to balance them. We stop keeping score and start just doing what needs to be done.
And there is something profoundly beautiful about that type of relationship. It isn’t about going to do some exciting family activity. It isn’t about holding hands while strolling on the beach. It isn’t about going out to a fancy dinner. It isn’t even always about having deep conversations.
Sometimes it’s just about living together. Being beside each other through the exciting and the mundane. Having a partner in life that makes your life easier and more enjoyable.
So let’s take notice of these small moments and appreciate them for what they are.
One Week Challenge
Once kids come along, life gets busy… really busy! A lot of the day is spent focusing on what needs to be done and figuring out who will do what. Unfortunately, in the midst of all of this, we (understandably) forget to do small things for our spouse. The following small things can make a big difference and help you both feel more connected and in-tune with each other.
Pick a task that is usually your spouse’s responsibility and do it for them.
Make coffee for your spouse and have it ready for them in their favorite mug.
Text them 3 compliments at random times throughout the day.
Bring home a small gift just to show you’ve been thinking of them.
Set aside time to dream about the future together.
Snuggle and hold hands while you watch TV together.
Carve out an hour for just the two of you without phones.
But, of course, one week of small gestures is not enough in and of itself. A marriage requires flexibility and patience – especially while raising a family! Each stage of parenthood brings up different marital challenges, but it is through these challenges that our relationships grow. It’s important that we take the time to reflect on our relationship, appreciate what’s working, and take steps to work on the things that aren’t going so well.
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